Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Funny Resume Blunders
Every morning I open my yahoo homepage before checking my email. Normally, I check out the typical celebrity gossip to keep up with my sister and mother in their E! news review conversations. But today, I came across this ( After a good fifteen minutes of laughter, I decided to share the laughter with you. Hopefully, not only does this put a smile on your face, but helps you realize the importance of spell check when filling out applications and drafting your resume.
Yes, these are based on true stories. Enjoy J
·         Candidate including a letter from his mother as a letter of recommendation. (Impressive)
·         Candidate explained a gap in employment by saying it was because he was getting over the death of his cat for three months. (Just enough time to receive unemployment)
·         Candidate explained an arrest by stating, “We stole a pig, but it was a really small pig.” (Good, glad it wasn’t big)
·         “Consistently tanked as top sales producer for new accounts.” (Should have ranked this achievement low enough to not include it on the resume)
·         “Seeking a party-time position with potential for advancement.” (Only part-time does this person actually party)
·         Job Duties: “Answer phones, file papers, respond to customer e-mails, take odors.” (Maybe they sold scentsy?)
·         Objective: “So one of the main things for me is, as the movie ‘Jerry McGuire’ puts it, ‘Show me the money!’” (Love me some Cuba Gooding Jr.)
·         Work experience: “Responsibilities included checking customers out.” (Sometimes you just can’t help but look)
·         Background: “28 dog years of experience in sales (four human).” (Must be an expert)
·         Application: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? “A: 3 stories.” (Did you take the stairs or climb the ladder?)
·         Experience: “My father is a computer programmer, so I have 15 years of computer experience.” (You are who you know)
·         Resume: “I have a lifetime’s worth of technical expertise (I wasn’t born – my mother simply chose ‘eject child’ from the special menu.” (Unique)
·         Qualifications: “I have guts, drive, ambition and heart, which is probably more than a lot of the drones that you have working for you.” (Skill set: psychic- able to read people without meeting them)
·         “Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.” (If only there were more people like you)

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